Finding Purpose

Every month, my phone sends me a little alert that it is coming up on my Sunday to work with the kids at The Gathering.  Initially, I took on this responsibility with trepidation – I am a trained middle school and high school teacher, and the  kids of our church range from 1 – 6 years of age, all in the same Sunday School class.  My mother is the kindergarten teacher of the family, not me.  But there was a need, and so I found myself agreeing to help.

For the first few months, I didn’t do much more than show up to help out.  My co-leader took all the planning and orchestrating responsibilities.  Most weeks neither of us knew what to do, so there was a lot of play time.  But then I started thinking about my upbringing – all the Sabbath School classes, the Friday night family worships, and the Wednesday evening Pathfinders (kind of like Girl/Boy Scouts, but for Adventists) where I learned about what it means to follow God.  And so I decided it was time to give more thought these monthly lessons.

Although the traditional Jewish Sabbath, with its 39 prohibitions from the Talmud, calls essentially for a cease to creating, I find the Sabbath to be ideal for the creation of my monthly Sunday School lesson plan.  I understand and appreciate the spirit of the Talmud’s take on creation during Sabbath; without these boundaries, we may never stop to appreciate what already is, what already exists, what has already been created.

But there is something about Sabbath that gets my spirit into the right place to think about the Gathering Kids group.  The rest of the week is so busy that I just can’t focus for long, and so one Sabbath per month finds me at the kitchen table with my computer, creating a lesson for these kids that I have come to know and love.

The more I participate and throw myself into the Gathering Kids group, the more I actually feel alive at church.  This surprised me – I thought I would feel more burdened, more exhausted – sad that I was no longer in a classroom during the week.  But no, I have found that this small responsibility gives me a sense of purpose again.  I thought I had left that behind in Tennessee, when I closed up my classroom there for the last time.  I never expected that the sacrifice of giving my time to these little hooligans each month would in some way revive me.

I was listening to a sermon from my home church around Christmas time this last year, and I was amazed to hear Andy McDonald, the pastor who has seen me grow up, talk about this phenomenon.  Several things caught my attention:

“Give yourself to others in order to get a sense of purpose.”

“Getting our way does not equate to joy, despite cultural norms.”

“Selfishness leads to sadness.  Selflessness leads to joy.”

It seems counter-intuitive that when I’m feeling at my lowest, giving to others brings back that sense of joy.  In those bouts of depression, all I really want to do is feed me, take care of me, sink farther beneath the covers and pretend there is not a world out there beyond my bedroom door.  But I can honestly say that even a small sacrifice of monthly teaching in a Sunday School classroom has helped to bring a sense of joy and purpose back into my life.

What if I found other ways in the in-between weeks to give myself to others?  Instead of once a month, I might feel filled with purpose and direction every day.

Small steps, though – I may not be ready for so much purpose. 🙂